[★] somewhere only we know

Dear friend,

my best friend forever
i didn't mean to blame anything
i have no expectation at all, maybe i'm just lying --- i have some
i'm telling you this because you held my biggest secret
and i trust you with all my heart

nobody's perfect
and sometimes
there are unacceptable things exist
and you can barely think of it
if you ask me how to make it through
i'd say that what you need is time
but i don't know how long
maybe it could be a short period of time
or it could be more than years
to let you accept it

i know i'm imperfect
i might not be the person you thought i should be
i'm not the person you think you know
for a second
you might feel like i'm not the person you know
as unfamiliar as a total stranger
you shocked
you disappointed
you regreted for hearing this
for keeping this secret
for a second
i believe you wish you never heard this
i believe it was just a joke
and you'd ask me is today April's Fool Day

but none of the assumptions you made is true
although it's truth but it just makes you so hard to believe
every single second you feel like you can barely breathe
sitting in this place, sharing the atmosphere with me
you just feel the need of leaving
leave here as soon as possible

i'm speechless
that I found no excuse for me
i made mistakes
i'm living in a big mistake
and there are many times i wish it was just a dream
i'm not hoping you to understand it
but i just want you to stay the same
as the person i know before
as the best friend i always have

nobody's perfect
nobody's born with perfection
we all made mistakes
and live with these damn mistakes every single day
do we sometimes feel hard to breathe
yeah.
it's irratating
and i wish i could lose my memory
but i literally can't
we can only live with them
and make other changes out of them
just being honest,
i'm okay if i got no lovers at all
i'm perfectly fine with this
but i can't live without my best friends.

still,
I love you
my friend.